Why Being the ‘Perfect Mom’ is Overrated

12 Comments on Why Being the ‘Perfect Mom’ is Overrated

I’m that mom who has to de-wrinkle the laundry multiple times because I consistently forget about it.

I’m that mom who is the walking dead without some form of caffeine.

I’m that mom who chronically worries about everything.

I’m that mom who is chaotically organized.

I’m that mom who is convinced that everything in the world is toxic.

I’m that mom who tends to dress on the more comfortable side of the spectrum.

I’m that mom who fiercely loves her family.

 

Some days I feel like a champ, as I prepare an organic, highly nutritious meal for my son, and other days I throw some puffs on the highchair tray and call it good.

Some days I’m like Mary Poppins and Ms. Frizzle, and other days I get overwhelmed and angered easily.

Some days I venture out into the world with the baby carrier and dress my son in a cute outfit, and other days we stay inside as he runs around in just a diaper.

Being a mom is an emotional balancing act. You are pulled like a tug-of-war rope, but still expected to remain sane. Motherhood is so rewarding, but the pressure to be “the perfect mom” can leave you feeling empty and broken inside.

 

 

While I was pregnant, I planned on being the “perfect mom.” I read all the books, took all the classes, and researched every topic under the sun; baby product reviews, parenting strategies, natural labor delivery methods, etc. I wanted to do everything “the right way,” and I fell into the trap of desiring perfection.

Once I brought my beautiful blessing home, I realized (after some time) that there was no such thing as a “perfect mom.” I threw every single baby manual out the window! I did things my way, started leaning on God, stopped worrying about being a “perfect mom,” and started embracing my imperfections.

Related: Why All Girls Need to Embrace their Imperfections 

Let’s be real, there are some days, as a stay-at-home momma, where I’m still wearing the same T-shirt that I wore to bed the night before, covered in spit-up, baby boogers, and who knows what. There are days when I stress out because my baby isn’t sleeping (unlike the babies that other moms brag about sleeping through the night), and I start to doubt myself as a mom. There are days when I forget to pray as soon as I wake up, and my whole day is thrown out of whack. That’s life. It’s full of imperfections. I would go crazy (or crazier than I am now) if I attempted to be perfect every day. Just because your socks don’t match, doesn’t mean that they have any less of a purpose.

 

So how do we deal with this? How can we stop this desire to be perfect?

 

Stop comparing yourself to other moms

Just stop.

Use your God-given gut logic, and parent the way that feels right to you. That will look different to everyone. You may worry about one thing, and another parent may not care, and vice-versa.

Some moms breastfeed their child till they are five, and some moms use a bottle from the start. Some moms like to use a baby carrier, and some moms prefer a stroller. Some moms use organic everything, and some moms don’t care. Some moms use disposable diapers, and some moms use cloth diapers. Some moms use a pacifier, and some moms are like “no way Jose.” Some moms sleep train, and some moms co-sleep.

The way you take care of your child is completely up to you. Are there some ways that are better than others? Sure, but you take care of your child how you want to, and let other moms take care of their children the way they want to.

As long as you unconditionally love your child, meet their needs, pray for them, use discernment, and do the best you can, that’s all that matters.

 

Love God more than you love your family

The best thing we can do for our family, is to love God more than we love them. It may sound strange, but the more you love God, the more love you will have for your family.

When we chase after God with all of our hearts, we receive supernatural patience and a selfless heart, which helps us effectively care for our families.

This will also help you to worry less. You have to let go, and let God protect your children. It’s hard to trust and let go, but know that God has only good and beautiful things in store for His children.

But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children” (Matthew 19:14).

We have the responsibility to take care of our children’s earthly bodies, and point their hearts and souls to Jesus.

 

Give it all to Jesus

There are some days when I worry about everything. I start cringing as I look at the toxic ingredients in some baby products, worrying that my son will never sleep through the night, and sometimes feeling like all I am is a food source.

Related: Overcoming Worry With Trust–Are You a Martha or a Mary? 

I feel like a failure when the laundry hamper is overflowing, the dishes are practically piled to the ceiling, and when my sweet baby won’t take a nap. There are moments when I’m pushing the tears back, and all I can do is call out to Jesus.

Allow yourself to fall into the arms of Jesus, with your mascara (if you even bother with it anymore) running down your face and all. Let Him be your source of strength and help in your time of need.

Related: Finding Purpose–A Prayer for the Weary Momma

Don’t do this mothering business alone. Don’t feel like you need to hide in your closet with a big bag of dark chocolates (no judgement if you do though). Pray to God for support, mom friends, and a fresh perspective.

So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time He will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you (1 Peter 5:6-7).

 

Let’s focus on Christ, and work at being godly mommas who are consistently praying for their families, and doing the best they can!

Don’t worry about being “the perfect mom.” That’s overrated anyways. 😉

 

12 thoughts on “Why Being the ‘Perfect Mom’ is Overrated

  1. I tried to be the perfect mom…because I was OCD…until the thrid child…all three in diapers. well, ok, so, there were 1982,83, 84….and, no, the 1982 baby wasn’t totally still in diapers…and the third one was allergic to cloth diapers(actually, what he put into the diapers) so I had to move to oooo, disposables. And, Yes, I nursed.
    until I miscarried when #3 was 10 months…and he was cold turkey weaned while I went through a horrible miscarriage.
    Then…#5 – well, she was allergic to my mommy milk…no one told me that cream of wheat made with milk probably contained two of the most highly allergic things into my milk, making it horrible, …but that was how I tried to get my food bland and still she couldn’t nurse. Still using disposables…and she ended up on /o\ store bought food, because I couldn’t make hers and feed the other FOUR! all, 7 and under. God worked hard to teach me I’m not perfect…I knew I wasn’t perfect…He just had to work on my hard to give it up! thanks for sharing! Oh, don’t ask about laundry with five under 7…lol. OR THE TEENAGE YEARS ON A FARM! Thank you,, thank you…young mamas, and old ones need to hear this!

    1. Thank you so much for keeping it real with your comment! Nowadays, all moms try to look perfect on social media (even if they are struggling in reality), and it only ends up discouraging other moms. Even though life happens, and sometimes our plans change, the important thing is that we lean on Jesus, and love and take care of our children to the best of our ability. And 5 kids under 7??! You are supermom! 😉

  2. Yes!!! Thanks for sharing 🙂 There are no perfect moms. We have to depend on Him and I don’t think deep down we would want it any other ways. We know His strength in our weakness. His love in our mess.

  3. For real. No perfection here, but it’s a good reminder that I’m not striving for that anyhow. It’s all about leaning on Jesus <3

    He must become greater; I must become less.

  4. “We have the responsibility to take care of our children’s earthly bodies, and point their hearts and souls to Jesus.” This part really spoke to me. No matter how “perfectly” you parent your child, if they don’t know Jesus, we’ve failed them. Pointing my child to God is the number one priority on my list, everything else will fall into place by the grace of God. Great post! Very relateable.

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