Let me set the scene for you.
Our bedroom has a nice, adorable laundry hamper to put all of our clothes into.
But, all of those manly, sawdust covered, sweaty clothes usually end up on the floor.
As you know ladies, men seem to have this inability to actually make their clothes into the laundry hamper.
It. Is. Literally. Right. There.
But, they can’t seem to get their clothes into the hamper.
My husband’s clothes are literally right by the hamper. Not IN the hamper, but right BY the hamper.
Maybe if I put a basketball goal over the laundry hamper, then maybe, just maybe, he would try to “make a three.”
So what’s a young wife to do?
My advice may be shocking, but ladies, just pick up the clothes.
I get it y’all, it’s annoying and sometimes exhausting, but just pick up the clothes.
And no, it’s not “anti-feminist” to just pick up the clothes.
It literally takes like three seconds to just pick up the clothes.
Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God (Titus 2:3-5).
I am called to take care of my home and my family, and I take great pride in doing just that. My husband is the provider of our home. He words a full-time job, plus overtime. He often helps me with the dishes, and he is normally a pretty clean kind of guy.
So why make it a big deal? Why get upset when I find his clothes on the floor?
Recently, I was reading Romans chapter 12, and it spoke to me in a new, revolutionary way. Paul talks about how we need to conduct ourselves in a manner that pleases God. He talks about serving others, and living a life that points people to Jesus. The way that we conduct ourselves as Christians should be the way we conduct ourselves in our homes—in our marriages. This means loving and serving—even simply picking up your husband’s clothes.
I broke down Romans chapter 12 verses 9-13 into five different points to practically help and encourage you in your marriage.
Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good (Romans 12:9).
Genuinely love your husband, and hold tight to all the good in your marriage. Don’t focus on the little quirks that annoy you, or the fact that his stuff is all over the floor. Focus on what made you fall in love with him. Focus on his flirtatious smile, his dreamy eyes, and the way he makes you laugh, even when he is telling corny dad jokes. Focus on his heart, and his good intentions. Focus on how hard he works to provide for your family. Focus on the love that you have for each other, and never take it for granted.
Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other (Romans 12:10).
Make time for intimacy. Cuddle up in a blanket together, hold hands, and sneak in a kiss every chance you get. Do little things for him, like putting a cheesy, handwritten note in his lunchbox, cooking his favorite meal, or surprising him with some lingerie.
Honor your marriage with respect. Think before you speak, give out complements freely, and have patience and self-control.
Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically (Romans 12:11).
Serve for each other and with each other with acts of service. Do things for your husband without expecting anything in return. Acts of service are more meaningful when they are bore out of genuine love. As you do things for each other, also do things together for others.
My husband and I love doing ministry together. We are both youth leaders at our church, and we often work side-by-side to help point the next generation to Jesus. We work together for the glory of God, and it’s a beautiful thing. When your eyes are focused on eternal things, the mundane and earthly things (like picking up clothes) don’t bother you as much.
Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying (Romans 12:12).
You WILL encounter hard times and endure trouble, but God WILL get you through whatever comes your way.
The very same year that my husband I got engaged was the very same year that my momma’s cancer spread, and she went to be with Jesus. I experienced immense loss and went through a painful depression that year, but he never left my side. He was emotionally available for me, and prayed for me through every tear that rolled down my cheek. He was patient, and he is still patient with me to this day.
I want to always give back that same, selfless love to my husband. But, I know that I can only do that with the love and strength of Christ in my life. The more I lean on Jesus, the better wife I become, in my actions, in my speech, and in my love.
When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality (Romans 12:13).
Marriage is all about teamwork. You build up a home together, and you serve together. Always be eager to help your husband through it all. In sickness and in health, and in the good times and the bad. Cover him in prayer daily—over his work, his stress, and his relationship with Christ.
Create an atmosphere in your home that is relaxing, uplifting, and peaceful. No need to attack your husband with the “honey-do list,” or some conflict as soon as he walks through the door. I usually try to have dinner almost done, or on the table when he gets home, and I love to diffuse relaxing essential oils to help him unwind. Some days, he comes home stressed, and I know to just give him his space after I give him a big bear hug.
Every family is different. Every marriage is different. Every work situation is different. What works for me may not work for you. Marriage is two imperfect people who love each other imperfectly. The important thing to remember is that you don’t have to do it on your own. Lean on Jesus, and do the best you can for each other.
At the end of the day, you are both just trying to do your best . . .
So give your husband some grace, and just pick up your husband’s clothes . . .
Since God chose you to be the holy people He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful (Colossians 3:12-15).